TrustyGamer

I beat that game...

Userx 101 — Tue, 23 Sep 2008 22:50:00 GMT

Don’t say “I beat that game” you tool.

You have probably heard that phrase more than once during a conversation about video games. You might have even seen it when you were reading some comments on a video game site about a particular game. It probably went something like this.

BearsFan54: Anybody else having trouble using the Adept class in Mass Effect?

MangoTaco: Yeah, its tough at first only having a pistol to fall back on but you will get used to it.

Pwnedagain420: I beat that game in 2 days and took that sh*t back and got Saints Row, which is a better game anyway.

Wow. First of all, how do you even beat a game like Mass Effect? Would you have to finish the game with every class and each with good and evil morality? Do you have to do it on the hardest difficulty? Get all achievements (Xbox 360)?

There are all types of games out there and I can’t think of anyone that can be “beaten”. Most games today have a story aspect to them and when you finish the game the credits roll. Hmmmmm, much like a movie. I can’t think of any movies that can be beaten either. You can’t beat a book. You can’t beat a board game.

I beat that movie like when it came out.

Some will argue that the game was a challenge that you overcame, so thus you beat the game. The AI is in place to stop you, but you beat the AI, so therefore you beat the game as well. I disagree with this explanation. While true, you can beat a particular boss, but that is a singular event. Even then I would say that I “got past” the 3^rd level boss.

I don’t know if it’s a geographical thing, cultural thing, or even innocent slang. Put “I beat that game” with other phrases that should never be used. Gems like “I slept like a baby” and “she eats like a bird”. Babies cry all night long and birds have to eat quite a bit for their size to keep up with their high metabolism. Beat means to defeat, and you can’t defeat a game.

Educate your fellow gamer the next time you come across this phrase or any of its variants. If you are the tool using it, stop immediately.

TG Review Roundup - Edition 1

smakus — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:52:00 GMT

Since our break, there has been a slew of games to hit the Xbox 360 and Wii. Rather than write lengthy reviews, we'll hit them hard and fast in our first edition of the TG Review Roundup.

1) Tiger Woods 2009 (★★★★☆)

I don't know if any of you played Tiger Woods 2008, but it was a flaming pile of steamy poop. Long load times, flashy gimmicks, average graphics and a really, really, really shitty multiplayer implementation (EA-fied to the MAX) pretty much killed what could have been a decent game. EA came back this year and actually trimmed the fat, added enhancements that make the game funner to play, and also fixed multiplayer to be more in line with industry standards. The good: EA added multiplayer private match hosting that is easy to set up, saves default settings that you choose, and makes it easy to play with friends. You all can swing simultaneously to speed up online gameplay. Custom "lessons" and challenges are created for you as you make progress in your Career mode, giving a sense of purpose to your training that is actually worthwhile. Graphics and sounds are upped to a higher quality, and load times are decreased dramatically. More courses too! The bad: All players are still dropped at the end of a privately hosted match, not returned to a lobby. The custom game-face maker that utilizes the Xbox Live Vision camera (or alternatively, you can upload photos to EA's servers from your EA account) is still piss-poor, and still takes 20 minutes to generate a face that looks nothing like the pictures you took. EA's stupid "Ethnicity" settings are so politically correct, they are actually offensive. Bottom line: It's the best golf game the Xbox 360 has to offer, and it's actually worth buying, even if you hate EA.

2) Mercenaries 2 (★★★☆☆)

The first Mercenaries game (original Xbox) was a very good game, and it is somewhat of a curiosity as to why they took so long to produce a sequel. Well, Mercenaries 2 is out, and it is bigger, with more destruction, and a good co-op mode. If you played the first game, this game is more of the same, with little variance. If you never played the first game, you don't need to, just play this version and you are good to go. The good: Gameplay is fun and every bit is as good as the first version. More explosions, more weapons, nearly everything is destructible, and there is a great co-op mode that allows a friend to jump in and out of your game without much hassle. The bad: The AI is wonky, vehicle physics and controls are stupid, the graphics are barely better than the last version, and there isn't much going on in this title that sets it apart from the last (outside of the multiplayer aspect and better explosions). Bottom line: Mercenaries 2 is still a game that is fun to play, and doesn't require too much thinking. With enough firepower, you can plow through the levels with a buddy and just sit back and watch the explosions. There is something to be said for the manly and simplistic gameplay that this game offers. Likewise, don't expect too much from this title, other than lots of explosions.

3) Castle Crashers (★★★★☆)

After taking about 1 year too long to make this game, it is finally out. While the multiplayer is buggy (patch is in the works), this game is still seriously fun to play. If you long for a more modern take on the classic beat-em-up, Castle Crashers has a good scratch for that itch. It has just enough leveling up to keep things interested, while not being overly complicated for casual play. The good: The game is fun, and challenging enough that you will enjoy beating it with your friends. If you miss playing games like Double Dragon (and if you like the artistic style of Castle Crashers), you will enjoy playing the game from beginning to end. The bad: Hit detection can be a little wacky as your characters have to "line up" with the enemy to score a hit, but it plays just like the old-skool 2-d beat-em-ups, so this isn't much of a surprise. The price is fairly atrocious for what you get. Bottom Line: If you are dying for a modern high-def 2-d beat-em-up game that feels like the old days of 8-bit goodness (and you have the coin to spare), then take the plunge, Castle Crashers is worth it.

4) Defend Your Castle, WiiWare (★★★☆☆)

Get a group of friends together and enjoy the mayhem of trying to keep little stick men and pseudo Pepsi monsters from entering your castle. This game is surprisingly fun, hectic, and has the right balance of resource management, coordination, repairs, and upgrades to make playing this game a really fun experience, especially with friends on the same console. The good: Keeping your castle in tact and doing repairs in between rounds makes for a good time, and there are some really tense moments in the early levels as you try to fend off the stick-men in their increasingly larger hordes. You and your friends better formulate a strategy early on for dealing with the hordes, and don't forget to fortify your defenses often! The bad: Once you acquire all of the castle upgrades, fortifying your walls becomes your only option for advancement, and consequently the game gets pretty easy once you have your individual castle towers fortified with enough blue men. Not too much longevity with this one. Bottom line: This is a really really fun game to play with your friends when they are over. For a casual game, it doesn't get much better than this. Unfortunately, after a few hours, this game has little left to offer, and no new challenges emerge for a seasoned team of castle defenders. If you have the cash and need a few hours to burn with your friends, it is worthwhile, but don't expect this title to last for the ages.

That's it for this edition of the TG Review Roundup, but expect much more to come as we enter the Holiday Gaming Blitz that is quickly approaching us.

Sorry for the short break...

smakus — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 18:57:26 GMT

We've been on a sort of summer holiday for a while, but promise to get back in full swing soon. Look for a review roundup coming soon, where we hit all the major summer blockbusters and give you our take on them.

Check back soon!

What is up with Nintendo and their supply chain???

smakus — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:08:27 GMT

I don't know what asshole at Nintendo thought it would be a good idea to keep all of their products in short supply, but that dude needs to be fired. I understand the concept of perceptual demand, but this is ridiculous.

I can forgive them if it is hard to find a Wii, or even a Wii Fit, because after all, those are hardware devices that require considerable supplies and assembly time. What I cannot forgive them for is why the fuck there are no Mario Kart games available. Anywhere. Unless you feel like getting raped on eBay, you are forced to lurk about your local GameStop or Target, only to be turned away and scoffed at by their asshole employees as if you were a leper begging for bread.

It's the same story every week:

Me: "Hey, do you have any Mario Karts?"

Dork employee: "<insert scoffing noise here> UHHHhhhh.. NOOOOOoooo???!!!! Those are in short supply!"

Thanks asshole, as if I didn't already know that.

Some may argue that because the game comes with the wheel attachment, that might be contributing to the supply latency. The thing is, I can find the stupid wheel-attachment peripheral (for sale by itself) in abundance, so that can't be the limiting factor.

Is it really so hard to stamp out copies of Mario Kart? Why is it easy for other companies to supply games that have twice the demand (like GTA IV), yet Nintendo can't keep up with one lousy title? Nintendo either a) doesn't know how to stamp games and keep them in supply efficiently or b) keeps the supply low on purpose.

To be honest, I think it is b). Either way, one thing is clear. Nintendo sucks.

GRID Preview

smakus — Fri, 30 May 2008 16:28:00 GMT

To put it succinctly, if you like racing games, GRID is a must-buy. If you don't like racing games, GRID is still most likely the game for you. It is the kind of racing game that even people who hate racing games will love to play.

If you were to have the PGR and Burnout family lines cross to form an offspring (with maybe a little Forza adultery on the side), GRID would be the outcome. It's fast, it's exhilarating, and there is just enough realism there (with the crashes and drifting physics) to pretty much make everybody happy, even if you are a Forza purist (the crashes and graphics will woo you, and mastering drifting is challenging).

So far it's a great game, and there are many online modes (ranging from demolition derbies to freestyle drifting courses) to keep everybody happy. The single player mode is very thoughtfully laid out and it keeps things interesting with different challenges almost every race.

The tracks and environment graphics in GRID are arguably better than any racer out there, with the car models falling just south of PGR's, but not in a detracting way. They are actually quite good, and I prefer the cockpit view in GRID over PGR's. The framerate is rock solid, and the sense of speed rivals or even bests that of Burnout Paradise (in fact, it feels like you are playing a racing game in fast-forward sometimes). Although artistic lighting of the graphics engine suffers from the permanent orange sunset we despise, it doesn't hurt the game too much. Just crank up the brightness a little.

Download the demo, it is a good taste of what the actual game is like, and if you like the demo at all, you'll love the game. Buy it.

Our Gears of War 2 Wishlist is slowly being granted??

smakus — Wed, 21 May 2008 21:11:00 GMT

We posted a Gears of War 2 Wishlist some time ago, and now it appears as though some of our dreams might actually be coming true!

The first wish to be partially granted was the confirmation of 4 player co-op (part of wish #1, originating video here). This is great news and it's nice to see Epic following through with some great features, but in reality we fully expected 4 player co-op to be added to the next iteration of Gears.

What we didn't expect was for our 6th (and most annoying) wish to be addressed. The gods are clearly smiling upon us however, because Cliff Bleszinski has decided to grow up a bit, and shed his retarded 'CliffyB' moniker. Congratulations Cliff, welcome to your 30's. Hopefully dropping 'CliffyB' leads to less dropping of F-bombs in your interviews, and more options in multiplayer (like the ability to change maps during multiplayer... wouldn't that be a novel idea?).

At any rate, here's to hoping Epic and Mr. B concentrate on granting our remaining wishes, and we'll update this post as that happens. Our fingers remain faithfully crossed.

[Edit 5-30-2008] It looks like more multiplayer details have emerged for Gears of War 2:

Xbox360Fanboy is reporting on some additional Gears of War 2 details that address more items from our wishlist. It looks like multiplayer will feature 5 on 5 (that's a little short of the 8 on 8 we were hoping for), and sport some additional game modes that sound interesting and fun.

What is absolutely lovely is that Gears of War 2 will feature a Halo style matchmaking and party system. We'll see how good this system turns out, but in the meantime count us as excited. There are many other brilliant changes that we don't need to repeat. Read the full list here, and in the meantime let's hope they don't screw it up.

I miss color.

smakus — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:58:00 GMT

I don't know what the hell is going on with modern game design and aesthetics. Remember those days when you'd turn on a video game, and it truly felt like you were being transported to another world? I remember having feelings of happiness playing games like Duke Nukem 3D or Mario64. Even with their simplistic gameplay and storyline elements, I honestly think I had more fun playing those games than playing any of the more modern and "immersive" games of today.

So why is that? I started to analyze this question and I narrowed it down to a few answers. For one, the storylines of today tend to be dark and depressing. Between being trapped with crazies (like in Bioshock or Condemned), or trying to save the world with a chainsaw and some bullets (Gears of War), it's no wonder I find today's games to be stressful and not stress relieving. But then again when I look back, these themes are nothing new. Wolfenstein 3-D had you trapped with Nazis, and Doom had you fighting in Hell with a chainsaw - yet I didn't get depressed playing those games. So what is it about today's games that is so damn depressing? Well, it finally dawned on me. It's the damned color and lighting.

Game developers are always pushing the envelope in regards to the hardware wizardry that is available to them, and today's consoles have some fantastic features when it comes to the lighting and rendering of realistic images. With self-reflection, bump mapping, pixel shading, high dynamic range, and every other buzzword at their disposal, developers would be foolish not to utilize these newfangled features, no?

Well to be honest, I disagree. Personally, I think developers need to get smarter about when to use some of these features, and when to opt for less realism. The main reason is because games that shouldn't be depressing, are. Take the EA game Skate for example:

In looking at these screenshots, it doesn't exactly lift your spirits. These shots should depict a fun-filled skating game, yet in reality they look like shots from a heroin game where you have to skate to get your next fix. Now do these images look real? Well yeah, pretty much. But do they look warm and inviting? Hell no. I'm not saying I want my games to give me a warm cup of milk and a blanky when I start playing, but I don't necessarily want to be left out in the cold urban jungle at all times either. If a game is supposed to be fun, isn't it ok for developers to make it look fun? Back in the day, you could tell what the theme of a game was from a single screenshot. Nowadays, all screenshots basically look like they are from the same post-apocalyptic World War III nuclear fallout nightmare. Check out these next shots for more examples of what I'm talking about:

I like pretty sunsets as much as the next guy, but do we constantly have to be playing in one? Now sometimes, this kind of lighting can be important to the art design of a story. Gears of War is a game that looks depressing, but that depression is arguably a key element to the game's "Destroyed Beauty" theme:

I can give Gears a pass, because the lighting and atmosphere really set the tone for the game's core storyline, but do all games really need to use the same color palette? Apparently they must, as I'm fairly certain most modern game designers are using the following palette for 90% of the games they crank out:

I can just imagine the initial design meetings for some of these games...

Hotshot Game Designer: "As you can see, have a broad spectrum of color at our disposal, ranging from lifelike piss, to soggy poop..."

Bigshot Publisher: "Brilliant, I love it!"

Hotshot Game Designer: "Following that, we have complete coverage of the Concrete Range, followed by,... you guessed it: Burnt Sienna!"

Bigshot Publisher: "BRILLIANT!!!!"

Ok, at this point some of you might be thinking, "This article blows, these games don't look depressing at all... In fact, I have a raging boner from looking at the GRAW screenshot." Well, that may be true, but I challenge you to find any screenshot above that really makes you feel happy. Be honest... do any of those shots evoke a light-hearted feeling of fun? To remind you what that really feels like, behold:

Ahhhh... Doesn't that feel good? It's like somebody opened a window, and blew away all the nuclear winter. Even the sandy brown Mario64 level doesn't look half as depressing as the graffiti-filled permanent sunset jungle of the Skate world. We need more games like this. Bright, clear, and refreshing.

Take note, game designers and developers! Games don't always have to look realistic. It's perfectly ok to have the aesthetic mood match the style of gameplay you are going for, but can we at least lighten things up a little?? Maybe you can draw upon the following color palette for future inspiration:

That's right, bitches... Good ole CGA!

Sony is worthless.

smakus — Wed, 14 May 2008 00:29:00 GMT

Ok, we usually try to stay out of the fanboy pits of hell, but a lot of shit-talking has been circulating the various blogs recently, and they pretty much all say the same thing: Sony is worthless.

First, Microsoft's Aaron Greenberg called Sony out, and I must say we have to applaud him on that one. If you take off your PS3 goggles, read what he says, and just look at the facts, it's hard to deny the truth.

And now there is a comparison video for GRID vs. Gran Turismo Prologue (embedded below). Of course, most will say that this is an unfair comparison because after all, Gran Turismo Prologue is a demo, right? Well, yes, and no. Here is the problem: Sony has had 2 years to put out something decent for the PS3, and they basically haven't. In the same timespan, Microsoft has released Gears of War, Halo 3, Forza 2, and are now working on releasing the next round of true juggernaut titles, while still managing to make Xbox Live! a better service every single year.

In the meantime, PS3 owners aren't really left with anything but a few decent games, and a whole lot of bullshit. Sony continually promises gamers the world, yet delivers moldy cheese. Yes, we know Ratchet and Clank was good, yes we know Uncharted was decent, but that isn't the point. The point is that Sony doesn't deliver on any of its promises, and that pisses us off.

Ever since the PS3's initial specifications were released, Sony has been lying to gamers. What about all the Killzone footage that turned out to be pre-rendered? It's two years later and still no Home? How about a decent friend's list implementation? No, you get nothing. Even if it is an unfair comparison, when we saw the humorous video below it just reminded us about how pissed we were to have a $600 Blu-ray player. Watch the video. As funny (and possibly unfair) as it is, it really does put things in perspective. I mean keep in mind, Sony has been working on the next version of Gran Turismo for years. Watch the crash and pee your pants with laughter. Of course Sony says they might eventually get around to implementing true deformation physics. Yeah... don't hold your breath.

Sony should stop snow-jobbing gamers and actually get off their ass. We've already stated that there is a lot riding on MGS4, but we have to re-iterate: Sony, put up or shut up.

Samsung DLP has been fixed!

smakus — Tue, 13 May 2008 23:02:00 GMT

Not that anybody cares, but I thought I'd update everybody anyway, since I did mention the DLP TV drama here before, and maybe it will help somebody down the line.

My new ballast and bulb came in for my Samsung HLN-507W DLP TV. Putting the ballast in was a pain in the ass because you have to remove nearly every screw near the bottom-back of the TV, so you can slide out the entire assembly to have room for installing the ballast.

It turns out the ballast wasn't necessarily the problem, as just replacing the ballast didn't do a damn thing. I put in the new bulb, and viola! I had my TV back. I decided to keep the new ballast anyway, since the old one could have been contributing to the shortened life span of the bulb I just replaced.

What's funny is the picture is so much brighter (and even sharper??) than it was previously. I guess over the years I hadn't noticed just how much the picture had faded. I always thought these bulbs put out a constant lumen rating, and then just blew up. I guess not, as the new one is significantly brighter and makes a world of difference. The TV is brand new again. Lovely, but we'll see how long it lasts.

If you ever have any questions regarding Samsung DLP TVs and their maintenance, post a comment here and I will reply to you. I pretty much know everything there is to know now, after dealing with all this nonsense.

Thanks...

I am sorry, but this is pretty funny...

smakus — Mon, 12 May 2008 20:00:00 GMT

I hate to pick on the PS3, but it is such an easy (and really really large) target: